grr . ini status saya sekarang .

I had been lying low in the radar . The relatioship radar . I can't say I have noone that occupied my mind every now and then but I can't say the person is the only thing in my mind either . I've been in many situations with many people and personalities .They come and go . Stop and slip away . But finally , there will be one that stays . You can't really stop all the rest that come and go but the one that stays , that one you can make them stay .

he . yes , he . the one who always make me smile all day long . currently . i just want him to read this . and i'm sure that he will . and he will understand . i hope so .

i just don't want to mention anybody's name eh . figure it out . i know he'll read this . maybe not now , but i know , HE WILL or i 'll make him to :D

Most of the times tho , he is sweet in a vey casual way . Surprising when the things just popped out of his mouth and it's not even said in a sweet way . It's a matter of fact thing and that what makes it even more sweeter because it's already a fact that he loves me . Not some emotional fling at the time or hormones raging or something haha . He expresses his feelings every now and then . And yes , he said it in a matter-of-fact kind of way .

He never can get mad at me in a long term . He would say he wanted to be alone and then say I Love You at the end of the day . He gets mad , really mad if I fucked something up . He will explain why . He will explain how he feels , after some persuasion that is . He is honest and true . Yes , that is a fact too . He knows how the truth is always better even though it hurts .

He is very funny . He knows how to make a conversation . A very good one and it makes me not wanting to talk because I love hearing him tell all the stories he has . Andd we are harsh to each other . We commented each other features but he then will say that is why he loves me . He hides nothing and tells everything . How he appreciates me is undescribable . All the time. He shows it . No huge egos are involved , I can even say none at all . No problems will be solved in shouting and yelling at each other and pointing each others fault . None of that thank you very much .

He always know how to express his feelings , while I can't . He said to just said what you feel , what you have in mind but still , I don't know how . But he should know I do love him .

The catch is . We are not Boyfriend and Girlfriend. Not Pakwe and Makwe . Not Bie and Sayang . Not Bie and Baby . Nada . It never popped up in all our gazzilions of conversations , not for the past months anyway . But we're something special . That , we are .

As for.. Is there any guy in my life now? question. Hmm. Maybe there is, maybe there isn’t any. Maybe there are a few, maybe there are none. Haha. I guess there is this one guy that is well, that I categorized in an entire different section but my heart ain’t opening up yet. As I had said before, I had take my heart off of my sleeve and I freaking locked it away in a treasure chest. I guess you can use the weird, ugly-ass captain from Pirates of Caribbean, the one that keep his heart locked in a chest as an example. But of course, I am Not that ugly and my heart will be nicer than that? Hahaha.

I never knew that I would really feel like locking my heart away as when I said that stuff, it was just because I was hurt but now, it is true as you can see lah kan. Some people have been very sweet and kind and yes I am flattered

so , here is the answer . please give me more time can you ? i like the way we are right now . wait till i've get the best answer . but , can you please be my friend and please , no such things mcm benci benci atau buang jauh jauh perasaan tu ? why don't we be something special but remain unattached ? get it ?

i hope you understand , ++grammar and vocab yg agak beterabur itu ye . i love you .